Cultjer

managing editor

GregHarmonGregHarmon

latest stories

Our Idiot Brother
Dude. Do you have Tourette’s? Our Idiot Brother

Dude. Do you have Tourette’s? Our Idiot Brother

Mr. Washburn, how are you doing today? Listen, Ned, you wouldn't happen to know where I could get some tk-tk. Even if I did, you really think I'd tell you? It's been a hard week. Yeah? Yeah. Here you go officer. Hey, thanks man. Wow. Hey, I'm Ned. They let me go early. Yeah, I won most cooperative inmate four months running.

Every family has issues.

God, Ned just showed up. You said your door was always open.

This family has Ned.

Well, I got to get back to work on the tomion. The what? The tomion. It's a cross-pollination between a tomato and union. Think of the time it'll save when you're making spaghetti sauce.

He's family. I can't just turn my back on him for no reason.

Ned's sisters are taking him in.

Where did you go. I need to find you. Haya!

I never wanted him here, filling the kids heads with stupidity. Check it out. Can't one of you just take him please? What's wrong with my sister. She's pretty, but she's bossy. Tell me exactly what he said. He said that your personality gets in the way of your looks. Your very good looks. Dude. Do you have Tourettes?

She's open to pretty much anyone. She even slept with her cousin once. Our idiot brother just ruined my frickin life!

I like to think that if you put your trust out there. I mean if you really give people the benefit of the doubt. See their best intentions. People will rise to the occasion.

Once you see the world.

You know I think it's a really good way to live your life.

Through Ned's eyes.

If I could love something as much as Ned loves everything... you wouldn't be such a bitch. And you wouldn't be such a slut.

Life is a no-brainer.

Who's the man Ned? Yeah, I'm the man. Louder! I'm the man! Yes! Come on!

You know, I try and do good, but I just screw it up.

burnsting burnsting

latest

media

reviews

best reviewed